Unholy Matrimony
by Kaku
Summary: Luffy wants to try out his new found authority and make his nakama happy all at the same time. So how did he end up breaking three hearts?


**AN**: I wrote this a while back, but I threw it aside when it didn't come out the way I wanted. It's all thanks to **Confession68** that this came out at all so blame or praise her :x

**Disclaimer**: I don't own One Piece.

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**Unholy Matrimony**

**a.k.a.**

**Pirate Wedding**

* * *

Dedication to **Confession68**

(P.S. Everyone in her harem, please leave her for me :D I can offer so much more. Especially you **Mihase**! :3)

* * *

"It's nice to leave an island without any trouble for once." Nami said as she stretched her arms above her head. "And in such nice weather!"

"Indeed." Robin agreed as she stood next to the navigator, one arm resting on the railing as they stared out at the expansive sea before them. "But we may have to alter our course."

"We do? Why?" Nami asked, her arms falling to her sides as she looked at the older woman. Robin only continued to stare out ahead, causing Nami to follow her gaze.

"Oh." Nami frowned in understanding as she spotted the large vessel, about the same size as the _Thousand Sunny_, heading across their ship's path.

"There seems to be a ceremony being held." Robin pointed out.

Nami blinked, then squinted as she focused on the deck of the other ship before her eyes widened in delight.

"It's a wedding! How wonderful." Nami clasped her hands together, a dreamy smile making its way on her face. "Oh, her dress is so beautiful."

"It is." Robin smiled. "It seems like there have been a lot of weddings as of late."

"Yeah, really." Nami agreed, her elbows dropping to the railing so that her chin could rest on her folded hands. "It's actually a little bit depressing."

"Because you're afraid you'll never get your chance?" Robin said, not unkindly.

Nami nearly fell right over the ship at that and turned to Robin sharply, her face burning.

"_No_!"

"Then you have someone in mind?" Robin smiled.

"What? _No_!" Nami hissed, but couldn't stop herself from letting her eyes dart across the deck. "Out of this lot? That's a laugh-"

"I didn't say anything about them." Robin interrupted with an enigmatic smile still in place.

"Oh, that's... I just..." Nami's face burned as she dug herself deeper into the hole she had created for herself. "O-of course not. I mean me? Marry one of them? That's the most preposterous-"

"You've thought about it, then?"

Nami could only gape at her in horror.

"N-no!" She managed to squeak out, earning herself some looks and greatly unwanted attention. She glared at them and they quickly returned to their previous activities before she redirected her gaze at Robin. "I would _never_-"

"Why not?" Robin asked, causing Nami to look at her sharply to see if the older woman was still trying to tease her, but found her gaze to be sincere. "They're all fine young men. Any woman would be lucky to marry any one of them."

"Lucky?" Nami repeated and then sighed as she leaned down, both arms crossing over the railing, her hands dangling over the side. "Yeah, real lucky. She'd have all the trouble attached to them as well."

"I don't even want to touch on Franky or Brook." She shuddered at the thought. "And Chopper... he's still just a kid!"

"Then again," Nami glanced over her shoulder at the sight of her crew, sighing. "They all really are."

_Especially that idiot..._ She thought to herself in exasperation as Robin chuckled in agreement.

"Whoever would marry Usopp would have to be incredibly gullible or incredibly understanding to tolerate his lies and his stories." Nami continued, raising a hand to count off the potential 'bachelors' of their ship. "And the woman would be brave, or perhaps dense enough to marry _Zoro _ would be subjected to conversations that would be even less stimulating than talking to a rock, being the chatterbox that he is."

"Is that so?" Robin smiled. "I would think Sanji would be the most eligible husband, then?"

"Oh yes," Nami snorted. "As long as you don't mind being part of a harem."

"You give him too little credit." Robin smiled. "I'm sure when he finds the right woman he'll stay true to her."

"Yeah." Nami agreed, her tone rather unconvinced. There was a moment of silence as they continued to stare at the other ship and just as Nami straightened up to give orders to change course, Robin asked her another question.

"And Luffy?"

"What about him?" Nami asked, looking at Robin.

"If he were to marry?"

"Luffy? Marry?" Nami stared at Robin as if the other woman had just said money wasn't everything. The two just didn't connect (and money _was _everything.)

The crew looked over at the two women as Nami burst into laughter. She had doubled over with an arm holding her sides, her other hand gripping the handrail to keep from falling to her knees. Robin could only stare at the woman in amazement while the others looked on in confusion.

"Oi, Nami!" Luffy finally called out, tilting his head to the side. "What's so funny?"

At the sound of his voice, Nami looked at him for a split second before her laughter increased tenfold. The others could only stare as their navigator could no longer support herself, collapsing on the ground as tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, a fist pounding down against the grassy deck.

"I-I can't... too funny..." Nami gasped out incoherently as Robin continued to stare at her in bemusement.

"I think she's lost it." Zoro's voice managed to carry over Nami's laughter which ceased abruptly.

"We're changing course." Nami said, her fist still in the air with Zoro lying in a crumpled heap at her feet.

"Why-"

"I _said_," Nami said sharply, leaving no room for argument. "We're changing course. Now _get going_!"

Without a complaint the crew set to work, running about the deck in their rush to comply with her command, least they be at the mercy of her rage. With all the commotion on the ship taking place in the background, Nami stepped back at the railing by Robin's side.

"Really, Robin." Nami had to cover her mouth as another onslaught of giggles bubbled up from her throat. "Luffy? Married?"

"Yes." Robin said hesitantly, still caught off guard by Nami's earlier outburst of unrestrained laughter.

"There's no way that idiot would get married." Nami grinned, placing her hands on the railing as if to brace herself for any future bouts of laughter.

"Is that so?" Robin smiled. "I don't think he's that unattractive. He's a rather handsome young man."

"I didn't mean it like that." All traces of her amusement disappearing. "It's just..."

"He probably doesn't think about things like that." Nami said, her gaze shifting over to the ship and the ceremony taking place. "I doubt he'd ever..."

Nami's voice trailed off and Robin observed the younger girl quietly.

"But the girl that does marry him would have to have the patience of a saint." Nami spoke up again, smiling over at Robin.

"Oi, Nami." Nami and Robin both turned to find Usopp calling out to her. He held up his arm somewhat defensively. "Y-you didn't tell us what course to change to, so..."

"Oh, right." Nami stepped away from the railing, her gaze shifting over to the ship in their path, then turned back to Usopp. "Actually, just drop anchor here and hoist the sails."

"Here? Why?" Usopp arched a brow, his arm dropping.

"Just do it!" Nami snapped, causing him to jump.

"All right, all right." Usopp mumbled before turning to the others to relay her orders.

"It would be nice to see one last ceremony before we leave." Robin said, catching on to Nami's idea. "It may be the last one we see."

"I wish you wouldn't say such ominous things." Nami mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest in exasperation.

"What's going on?" Luffy asked a few moments later as he walked over to the two once they had done as Nami asked.

"There's a wedding taking place." Robin informed him with a smile.

"Wedding?" Luffy repeated, then grinned. "Does that mean there's food?"

"Is that all they mean to you?" Nami asked with a sigh as the rest of the crew soon gathered around them.

"A wedding?" Usopp questioned, frowning. "Didn't we see enough of those before we left the island?"

"What's one more?" Sanji asked with a smirk. "They're wonderful celebrations of a love between a man and a woman. Don't you agree, Nami-swan? Robin-chwan?"

Nami ignored as Sanji swooned about her while Robin kindly responded to his attention.

"It is a wonderful thing." Robin agreed with a small smile.

"Rubbish." Zoro put in his two cents, arms crossed over his chest. "Let's just go."

"What did you say, shithead?"

"That you're eyebrow is probably worse than any whirlpool we'll ever encounter." Zoro barely managed to finish his insult before Sanji sent a kick flying to his face.

"_Uwa_! It's so touching!" Franky cried out as the two men continued their scuffle a few feet behind him.

"Why are you crying?" Usopp asked, not at all surprised.

"I'm not crying!" Franky gave another heartfelt sob, tears clearly flowing from under his sunglasses and a tissue already in hand. "Not at the beauty of the sanctity of marriage, you bastards!"

"So noisy." Usopp mumbled, leaning away from the sobbing cyborg.

"Perhaps I could play a tune for them and the bride will allow me to see her panties before she is wed!" Brook said as he pulled out his violin and bow.

"What bride would do that?" Nami snapped, barely restraining herself from hitting the animated skeleton and instead turned her anger and the other two still engaged in their fight. "Just shut up and watch!"

Zoro hissed in pain as his hands hovered over his newly formed lump while Sanji fawned over Nami's strength, his own bump throbbing painfully.

After a few minutes of silence, they could hear the distant melody of the _Bridal Chorus_ before an appearance of dazzling white appeared from the cabin of the ostentatious ship. An almost enviable sigh escaped Nami as she leaned forward on the railing. Robin smiled, placing a hand on her cheek.

"I wonder what kind of food they have." Luffy asked, his arms hanging over the sides of the ship.

"Is that all you think about?" Nami asked, her eye twitching as she felt that the mood was completely ruined.

"It seems the captain is holding the ceremony." Robin commented.

"The captain?" Luffy perked up. "He can do that?"

"Yes," Robin said. "But merely being a captain doesn't grant him the power to-"

"I can do that?" Luffy asked, pointing at the ceremony on the ship.

"Actually-" Robin tried again, but Usopp interrupted.

"Of course!" He puffed out his chest. "I lost count of the many, many beautiful ceremonies I've conducted in my time. I've done it for decades as the great Captain Usopp, as you all know."

"Decades..." Nami sighed.

"Really?" Luffy jumped up in his childish excitement.

"You're amazing, Usopp!" Chopper cried out in equal admiration.

"Of course!" Usopp laughed uproariously, his ego inflating by the minute.

"Let's do it!" Luffy shouted suddenly, earning everyone's attention.

"Do what?" Usopp blinked. "Do a ceremony?"

"Yeah!" Luffy was grinning from ear to ear, ignoring the shocked look on their faces.

"Oi, oi, Luffy! You can't just marry any two people!" Usopp scolded him, earning a look of confusion from his captain. Sighing, Usopp began to explain to him the importance of marriage.

"See, two people who really care about each other usually gets married." Luffy nodded. "Right? So you can't just stick two random people together and get them married. They have to love each other and be willing to spend their whole lives together!"

"That's right, Luffy." Nami frowned. "It isn't just some sort of game."

"Oh." He pursed his lips in thought, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Just forget the whole thing and let's go." Nami continued as she gazed back at the sea. "We can head back on course now that they've cleared the way. Lower the sails and pull up the anchor!"

"Sanji!" Luffy called out, causing the blonde man to pause and glance over his shoulder.

"What?"

"You love Nami, right?"

Sanji stiffened as his jaw dropped, his cigarette falling from his lips. Nami froze, slowly looking over her shoulder, her eyes widening in horror.

"He... isn't..." She began, unable to finish her thought.

"You two can get married!" He grinned widely, laughing even as the others fixed him with looks of disbelief and horror.

"Oh my." Robin placed a hand over her mouth to hide her amusement as Nami felt her legs give out from beneath her.

"Oi, Luffy!" Usopp hissed, grabbing his captain around the neck and bringing his head down so he could speak clearly into his ear. "_What do you think you're doing_?"

"Huh? You said-" Luffy began, but Usopp tightened his grip.

"I didn't say for you _guess_ who would love each other and demand they get married!" He said as Sanji appeared before the two of him, his anger radiating in waves as he delivered a well aimed kick on his captain's head, unfortunately bringing Usopp down as well as the shock transferred to him.

"That hurt, idiot!" Usopp cried out angrily as he held his shoulder.

"What do you think a wedding is? Just some kind of big party? You shitty rubber man." Sanji ground the sole of his shoe into Luffy's rubbery skull, ignoring Usopp's angry cries.

"Actually," Robin interrupted, managing to gain their attention at last. "Being a captain doesn't necessarily mean you have the power to wed two people. You would need a marriage officer's license and I'm sure this is applicable only to Marines rather than pirates."

"So, he can't actually wed anyone?" Usopp summarized. Robin placed at hand to her cheek, still smiling.

"We'll, I believe the circumstances vary, but we _are_ pirates and I doubt any Marine would happily marry two outlaws." Robin said. "Considering that fact, I would think the closest a pirate can get to marriage is having a ceremony conducted by their captain."

"It would be a marriage, but one not recognized by law as we are outcasts." Robin theorized.

"So, it would be a pretend marriage?" Chopper asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Perhaps. To be _legally_ married you would need a marriage license." Robin said.

"So it's an illegal marriage?" Usopp guessed. Robin only chuckled.

"Sanji." Luffy called out, garnering the cook's attention.

"What?" He asked in annoyance, his foot still atop Luffy's straw hat.

"Do you really care about Nami?" Sanji couldn't see his expression because the brim of Luffy's straw hat was obscuring the view of his face.

"What kind of question is that? Of course I care about her!" Sanji snapped, earning himself a flash of white across the other teens face.

"Then let's do it!" Luffy said eagerly, taking advantage of Sanji's dropped guard as threw off his leg. "A pirate wedding!"

"A pirate wedding!" Franky, Brook, and Chopper cheered.

"Robin, Chopper! Help Nami get dressed!" Luffy ordered, then turned to Franky and Usopp. "Let's set up-"

"Okay!" Chopper saluted before running over to Nami, who was still in shock. Grabbing her wrist seemed to bring her back to her sense, but she was still too dumbfounded to do anything but let the reindeer lead her to her room. Robin merely chuckled as she trailed after the two.

"Wait, wait," Sanji shouted as the door to the women's quarter's closed, grabbing Luffy by the collar and halting him in his tracks. "Didn't you hear a thing I just said? Weddings aren't something to be taken lightly-"

"Aw, come on Sanji!" Usopp said, swinging an arm around his shoulders, starting to get into the spirit of the event. "It's not a real marriage, didn't you hear Robin? You don't have licenses."

"Yeah, but we can't get any since we're pirates." Zoro broke in, his eye twitching at the idiocy of the idea.

"And don't you want to know what it would be like to marry someone, especially Nami?" Usopp grinned, waggling his eyebrows.

Sanji stayed silent, chewing on the end of his cigarette.

"Oi, oi, don't tell me you're actually considering going along with this." Zoro asked in disbelief.

"Shut up!" Sanji scowled just as Franky swung his arm over his shoulders as well.

"Come on, cook bro. Don't you want to see her in that wedding dress?" Franky waggled his eyebrows as well.

Sanji's eyes widened as he recalled the lovely vision Nami had created back at _Thriller Bark_, despite being unconscious. His eyes were full of excitement and hope, smoke in the form of hearts now floating up from his cigarette.

"Nami-san... in a... wedding dress." He murmured, clasping his hands together. "What a heavenly vision!"

Usopp and Franky backed away, looking at each and snickering as Luffy was up on his feet, grinning from ear to ear.

"All right guys! Let's get started!"

"You can't be serious..." Zoro groaned, slapping a hand to his forehead.

* * *

"You can't be serious." Nami said, her eye twitching when she found herself standing in front of the mirror, Chopper holding out the wedding dress she had acquired from _Thriller Bark_. Somehow, she hadn't been able to bring herself to throw it away or leave it behind. It was beautiful, after all, even if that pervert zombie had given it to her in hopes of making her his bride.

_Who would have thought it would be used against me _again? Nami thought in disbelief.

"No, Chopper! I'm not going through with this!"

"Why not?" Chopper looked at her with wide, doe-like eyes, making her close her own in exasperation.

"Chopper..."

"I think it'll be fun." Robin commented, one arm crossed over her chest and her other hand holding her hand to her cheek as she looked at the dress with admiration. "It is a beautiful dress."

"Then you get married!" Nami snapped, grabbing the dress and brandishing it at the older woman. "You borrow my clothes all the time so I'm sure it'll fit you."

"Now, now, ladies!" Brook interrupted as he took the dress from Nami's hands and smoothed it out. "As long as one of you undresses and reveal to me your underwear, I can help you slip into this lovely dress and we can start this ceremony, yohoho!"

"I said I'm not going to participate and," Nami grabbed the dress back before sending Brook flying out the door with a powerful right hook, "_who the hell would let you help with something like that?!_"

"Ah, Brook." Luffy grinned as the skeleton landed on the deck, his joints twisted at odd angles. "We need you to play the music."

"Of course, Luffy-san!" Brook agreed affably, still a painful mess on the deck. "But do you suppose you can help straighten me out? I believe I've pulled a muscle, although I'm a skeleton and have no muscles, yohoho!"

"Sure!" Luffy said, walking over to the skeleton just as Robin and Chopper stepped onto the deck. A disappointed look was on the reindeer's face while Robin continued to look amused.

"We may have a slight problem." Robin informed them.

"What is it?" Luffy asked, a sickening crack sounding across the deck as Brook managed to replace all his joints.

"Nami-chan seems very adamant against the idea."

"Eh? Why?" Luffy frowned.

"I think-" Robin began, but Brook interrupted at once.

"Of course!" He cried out, turning to Sanji and Luffy. "It's not a real wedding until Sanji-san proposes to her."

"Of course!" Franky and Usopp said from behind Sanji, placing their fists into their open palms.

"Idiots." Zoro mumbled.

"Is that it?" Luffy grinned. "Then all Sanji has to do is propose!"

"Oi, oi. This is getting a little too-" Sanji began.

"Nami in a wedding dress." Usopp and Franky whispered to him.

"Oh, my unwedded flower, angel of my heart!" Sanji crowed, leaping up the steps, passing by Robin and Chopper in a flurry of hearts as he burst through the door to the women's quarters.

"Ah, Sanji-kun." Nami blinked, stepping back in surprise as the door flew open. "About all of this..."

"Please, my sweet butterfly. Let me speak these words threatening to burn right out of my chest, fueled by my passionate love that can be rivaled by no other! Not the hottest flame, not even the sun could out burn the love I hold for you!"

"Sanji-kun, wait-" Nami tried again, but he continued on just as enthusiastically as he took her hands into his, causing the young woman to jump in surprise.

"Please, Nami-san! Let me speak to my heart's content for I feel that a single word from you will deter the courage I have summoned up to ask you this one, burning question I've longed to ask you."

"Then all the more reason for me to interrupt." Nami said quickly, sweat beginning to form on her brow. "Sanji-kun, I-"

"Nami-san, from the very first day I laid eyes on your beautiful face, I thought that you," He continued on as if she never interrupted. "_You_ would be the one person that I-"

"_Sanji-kun_!" Nami shouted, her voice on the edge of cracking with desperation, finally earning the young man's full attention. "Please, stop!"

"N-Nami-san?" His voice taking on a whole different tone, trepidation seeping into his gaze.

"Sanji-kun," Nami began once again, her gaze softening. "I'm really sorry, but don't you find this a bit much?"

At this point, Nami and Sanji failed to notice the audience that was starting to collect at the doorway.

"I mean, even if this is all just a big game to all of you I think it's just ridiculous." She frowned, pulling her hands from him gently. "I can't bring myself to play along with this. I'm sorry."

She had added another apology when she saw the light fade from his eyes and felt guilt seep into her heart.

"What's wrong?" Luffy asked as he stepped in, all eyes turning to him. "Why aren't you dressed, Nami?"

"Luffy." Nami fixed him with exasperated look as she stepped around Sanji to face him. "Let's just stop. It's a stupid idea-"

"No, it's not." He argued like an obstinate child, his brows furrowing.

"Yes, it is." Nami responded, unable to keep the heat out of her voice. "Even if it is some game to you, I don't want to take part of it, not even if it's just pretend-"

"Then what if it wasn't?" Luffy interrupted.

Nami stared at him, completely caught off guard by his question. "What?"

"What if it were real then? You wouldn't have any complaints, right?" A sudden tension began to build in the room, but Luffy was unaware as he turned to Sanji with a grin. "Ask her! You love her, right?"

"_Luffy_!" Her tone was incensed, sparing Sanji from complying with his captain's request. "Do you have any idea how _stupid_ you sound right now?"

"What?" Luffy's tone took on a hint of steel.

"This isn't some sort of game. People's feelings aren't something you can throw about so easily!" Nami shouted.

"I know that!" Luffy shouted back. "And I'm not playing around, I'm serious!"

"Serious?" Nami sputtered. "How are you being serious?"

"You love Sanji, don't you?" Nami gaped at him and Sanji's visible eye widened. All eyes turned to her as she continued to sputter incoherently. Rather than wait for Nami to collect herself in order to give him an answer, he continued on. "And he loves you, doesn't he?"

Nami could only gape at him in response.

"You're both _nakama_, aren't you? You should hear him out or at least clearly tell him how you feel." Luffy continued angrily, "That's an order!"

Silence reigned throughout the room at the command. No one dared to move as the tension become thick to the point that it almost seemed tangible.

Nami clenched her hands into fists, visibly shaking, her eyes momentarily hidden from view before she finally broke the silence.

"_An... order_, is it?" She whispered, but it was clearly heard in the silent room. She abruptly turned from Luffy and took a step toward Sanji, her next words wavering as she barely restrained her fury. "Finish what you were saying, Sanji-kun. I'm listening."

Sanji looked up at Nami, his single eye wide as he opened his mouth, but no words seemed to come. He continued to move his mouth, like a fish out of water.

"Sanji-kun?" Her whisper brought back his ability to speak.

"Nami-san..." But he still couldn't bring himself to say anything more.

"If you're not going to say anything, then by _order_ of our _captain_," She spat out the words bitterly, before continuing, "I'll speak."

"Sanji-kun, I can't marry you."

There was a collection of inhalations, but Nami ignored them and continued as she kept her gaze locked with Sanji's, her eyes softening with every word.

"I care about you, I do." Nami said quietly. "But even if it's not real, even if to the rest of the world it doesn't mean anything, it would mean something to me. You can understand that, right?"

Sanji could only nod in response and Nami gave him a sad smile that had his heart rising to his throat.

"Even if this isn't a real marriage ceremony, just going through this whole process would feel like it is and I can't marry you, Sanji-kun." Tears slipped down her cheeks, her lips trembling. "I don't love you that way."

At that moment, even though silence reigned after Nami's words, everyone was sure that they heard the distinct cry of a heart shattering into a thousand pieces. Perhaps it was the sound of more than one heart that was shattering at that moment.

Nami turned suddenly, moments after her words had left her lips to face Luffy with a look that had him stepping back.

"I've said my piece, _Captain_." Nami spat out, taking another meaningful step towards him and for Luffy's credit, he did not back away. "And I've only one thing to say to you."

Nami pulled her hand back and delivered a slap across Luffy's face, tears spilling over her cheeks.

"I never would have thought you were capable of being this _stupid._" Nami whispered harshly, her hand still trembling from the hit. Slowly, she brought her hand down to her side before they clenched into fists. "I can't even look at you right now."

Luffy made no response, his head still snapped in the position her slap had turned him. A strangled noise managed to escape her lips, a hand slapping over her mouth to muffle the sound before she darted out of the room, but not before she left him with one last thing.

"_I hate you_."

The others quickly backed away from the door as Nami shot passed them, watching as the young woman flew down the steps, across the grassy deck and disappearing out of sight to the other side of the ship. Robin and Chopper made a move to follow, but Zoro stuck out his arm, his eyes closed as he spoke.

"Leave her."

Both reluctantly complied with his command before they started to head down the steps.

Zoro slowly opened his eyes to look back into the room. Sanji and Luffy were still, neither having moved from the spot Nami had left them. He shifted his eyes to meet the gaze of the other crew members and nodded his head to the stairs, silently hinting to them that they should leave.

Clearly reading the mood, one by one they descended down the steps without a backward glance. Zoro followed after them, one thought resounding in his mind.

_Idiots_.

Neither Sanji nor Luffy noticed the disappearance of the others, but soon mobility returned to their limbs. Sanji was straightening up, his gaze fixed on a spot on the wall in front of him just as Luffy reached up a hand to gingerly touch the area under his scar that was gradually turning red.

"It hurts." Luffy mumbled, unaware that he had spoken aloud.

He had been punched, kicked and even hit by various weaponry, but it had little effect on him. He was made of rubber. Something like an open palm slap shouldn't have hurt, and yet the area continued to sting, intensifying when his fingers brushed against the tender area.

A flash of movement brought Luffy back to the present just in time to have a fist imbedded into the side of his face, in the exact place Nami had slapped him only moments before. He crashed into the wall, just missing the doorway, hard enough to splinter wood but not enough to make a hole. Luffy managed to open his eyes to see Sanji towering over him, his expression unreadable.

"You really are a God damn idiot."

And then he was gone. Luffy's eyes fell to his lap, wiping at the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand and smearing the blood that trickled down his chin. The fact that Sanji had _punched _him slowly sunk in and so did the weight of how badly he had screwed up. If Nami's earlier reaction hadn't clued him in, Sanji's punch confirmed it. A chef's hands were his life. Sanji _never_ punched anyone.

* * *

Hours passed by, but it seemed much longer before everyone slowly started falling back into their usual routines. The tension was still thick in the air and almost made every breath they took painful as it tightened in their chests, but no one dared to address it as they forced themselves to overlook the matter entirely. Brook had tried to lighten the mood with a song, but as soon as his bow hit the strings, the melody seemed completely out of place and scratched at their ears rather than sooth their worries and soon he stopped and opted to drink a cup of tea.

Nami was still missing, presumably in the library working on her maps. Sanji had headed to the galley once he had emerged from the women's quarters and Luffy, after emerging moments later, had disappeared all together.

After the first hour, unease had made itself known and by the second hour, Usopp and Chopper began to worry about his whereabouts. They had set out to search out for their missing captain, but Zoro stopped them, telling them he'd show himself in due time. Reluctantly they listened to Zoro's words, but worry continued to plague their minds.

Finally Nami emerged from the library, just as they had guessed she would be, her log pose lifted to her eyes.

"We're straying off course." She said shortly, but they couldn't detect the same anger she had expressed earlier. It eased a little weight from their shoulders. "We need to shift to port. Chopper, Franky-"

"Aye, aye!" They said at once, saluting to her before complying with her orders.

She nodded in acknowledgement and waited until the ship had shifted and the log pose was back on course. She gave a short word of praise before she walked along the upper deck and disappeared out of sight to the end of the ship. The moment she was out of sight, Sanji chose that moment to appear from the galley.

"Supper's on." He said as if none of the events earlier had taken place. "Ladies first! Please go ahead, Robin-chan."

Robin smiled at the cook before entering the galley. With much less enthusiasm, the others trickled into the galley. He made no other attempt to make contact or conversation as he walked in the same direction Nami had moments ago, fishing out his pack of cigarettes.

"Hey." Chopper and Usopp froze just before they entered the galley at the sound of Sanji's voice. Slowly, they turned to see him tapping out a cigarette into his palm before he pocketed the rest of the pack.

"Where's the idiot?"

"Ah, we don't know." Usopp answered slowly. "He disappeared right after."

Sanji placed the cigarette between his lips, pulling a box of matches from his shirt pocket. Chopper and Usopp watched, almost entranced as he struck that match against the side of the box. He lit his cigarette before shaking out the burning match and moving to the side of the ship to flick the burnt stick into the sea.

"Maybe he understands." Sanji mumbled around the cigarette, lifting his hand to pull it from his lips and let out a long exhalation of smoke.

"Understands what?" Chopper asked.

Instead of answering, Sanji began to walk along to upper deck and said to them before disappearing from sight, "Eat. Before it gets cold."

* * *

Sanji wasn't surprised to say the least when he found Nami staring out at the sea as the sun began to set at the end of the ship. However, he was hoping that he could finish at least one cigarette before he had to face her again. He decided to give her fair warning so he wouldn't catch her completely off guard.

"Nami-san."

She stiffened at the sound of his voice, discreetly rubbing at her eyes before she turned to face him with a smile.

"Sanji-kun, I didn't hear you."

He took a step closer, stopping at the railing a few feet away from her as he gazed out at the sea. He closed his eyes and removed the cigarette from his lips, letting out a cloud of smoke.

"Dinner's ready."

"Thank you." Nami gazed at him for a moment before she shifted it back to the sea. "But I'm not very hungry right now."

"I didn't think you would be." He agreed, causing her to chuckle. "I'll make you something later, if you'd like."

"Thank you." It was softer than the last.

An uncomfortable silence passed between them. The scent of the sea passed over them and Nami began to speak.

"Sanji-kun, I-"

"If you're going to apologize," Sanji guessed, flicking his finished cigarette into the sea as he let out another exhalation of smoke. "Don't."

"But-" Nami tried again, but Sanji shook his head.

"There's nothing to apologize for. They're your feelings and I'm glad you told me the truth." He grinned, tilting his head back slightly. "If anything, I should be apologizing. I'm sorry, Nami-san, I got caught up as much as everyone else-"

"Sanji-kun." Sanji stopped in mid sentence when he felt a soft hand grasp his arm through the material of his dress shirt. He glanced over at her and his eyes widened in shock when he found himself staring into her watery gaze once more.

_Shit. _"Please, Nami-san, don't cry. I'm sorry-"

"No, you listen." She snapped, tears escaping from the corners of her eyes as she squeezed his arm. "_I'm sorry_, _Sanji-kun_. I'm sorry that I had to say those things in front of everyone and I'm sorry that I can't return your feelings-"

"Nami-san." His eyes softened. "Nami-san, I-"

"I really care about you, I really do." She whispered, knowing she was only repeating herself, but she couldn't stop the words falling from her lips. "You're like family to me, all of you are, but I... I don't love you that way. It's just... that... that _idiot!_"

Her tone quickly grew angry as her thoughts were focused on another individually, her grip tightening almost painfully around his bicep.

"How could he do that? How could he say things like that? He's such an idiot. I can't believe him!" Nami shook her head as she spoke, her bangs falling over her eyes as she lifted her free hand to place the palm of her hand to one of her eyes in an attempt to ebb the flow of tears. "And for him to put you--both of us--on the spot like that, in front of _everyone_. He's just... I..."

"Nami-san..."

"I'm so sorry, Sanji-kun." Nami whimpered, now furiously wiping at both her eyes. "God, I'm so pathetic. I'm so sorry, Sanji-kun, I'm so-"

"_Nami-san_!" Nami's gaze had drifted to the tie of his shirt as she had spoken, but at his tone her gaze was drawn up to his eyes. He reached out, brushing his thumb over her flushed cheeks. "I understand."

"Understand... ?" She whispered, frowning.

"Yes." He smiled at her, increasing her confusion. "You can't force yourself to fall in love with someone just as much as you can't force yourself to fall _out_ of love with someone."

"Sanji-kun..." More tears spilled from her eyes.

"If it were that easy, no one would ever have a broken heart." He grinned, only encouraging more tears from her rather than soothing her fears. "Come here, Nami-san."

Nami let out a choked sob when Sanji encircled her into the warmth of his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Sanji-kun... !" She cried, clutching at his shirt. "I wish... I just wish that I didn't-"

"No, you don't." Sanji murmured quietly. "I understand that you love him."

"Sanji-kun..." Her body began to shake with sobs and Sanji smiled bitterly as he held her closer.

_This is probably the closest I'll ever get to you._

"Don't worry. That idiot will get it someday." Sanji told her quietly, rocking her gently, "Only a complete fool would let someone as beautiful as you pass them by."

"How... is this... supposed... to make me... feel better?" Nami managed to hiccup through her sobs.

"He's not a complete fool, otherwise we wouldn't be following him." Sanji reassured her, causing her to laugh through her sobs.

"I... beg to differ."

"You give him too little credit." Sanji grinned as her sobs slowly died down, her trembling becoming less pronounced. "Believe in him."

"I always have." Nami whispered so quietly, Sanji almost missed it. Her sobbing had stopped, but she continued to hiccup now and then as she struggled to regain control of her breathing. "If your hand slips, I'll kill you."

"Of course."

"And Sanji-kun?" Nami mumbled into the material of his shirt. "Thank you."

He tightened his hold around her.

"Of course."

"Ah."

The sound of a new voice had them breaking apart. Nami turned away to rub at her eyes to clear away the remains of her tears, although there was nothing she could do for her swollen eyes. Sanji had reached into his pocket when he caught sight of the intruder.

"Sorry." Luffy said quietly, causing both of them to look at him sharply. Luffy seemed to flinch at the sight of Nami's face as he caught sight of the tears drying on her cheeks, but he managed to gaze at them steadily.

"Usopp said you guys would be here." He trailed off, unable to hold their gazes as he glanced down at his feet. Then, taking a breath, he looked up to lock gazes with them before taking a deep bow.

"I'm sorry for everything." He said firmly, holding himself stiffly at the waist.

Nami and Sanji exchanged glances, then turned back to their captain in surprise.

"I think," Nami began slowly, starting to make her way passed Luffy. "I'm going to my room."

Luffy eyes widened as he could felt Nami's approach, causing him to snap up at attention and turn to her sharply.

"Wait, Nami-"

"I know." Nami had stopped by his side, surprising him. She brought a hand up to his face, startling him into taking a step back. She stopped for a moment, before raising her hand to brush her fingers against the place she had slapped him earlier, causing him to flinch in response. At the visible indication of fear, Nami smiled at him sadly before turning away and disappeared out of sight.

"Ah, Nami," Realizing he had once again caused her sadness, Luffy took a step after his navigator only to be stopped in his tracks by Sanji's command.

"Luffy." Luffy froze, remembering that there was more than one person he owed an apology to and slowly turned to face the older man. "I have to talk to you."

"Sanji-" Luffy began, his brow furrowing.

"Just listen, idiot." Sanji said quietly as struck a match and lit the cigarette hanging from his lips.

"First of all, I hope you know that you screwed up." Luffy winced, but nodded in agreement. "You screwed up bad, as a man and as a captain."

"Second, I forgive you." At this, Luffy perked up, but Sanji was far from finished. "But you're still a dumbass."

"Third, you should know that you have one of the greatest treasures any man can ask for."

"I do?" Luffy couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Yeah, you do." Sanji said as he took a deep drag from his cigarette, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the dark smoke filling his lungs and bringing a sense of peace to his chaotic emotions. "And you better hang on to it and make sure _no one ever touches that treasure_. If you screw up, I'm going to take that treasure from you without a second thought."

Exhaling in a cloud of smoke, he fixed Luffy with a narrowed gaze. "Do you understand?"

Slowly, Luffy began to nod, but then stopped as he frowned at him, his hand going to his straw hat.

"I don't mind you holding onto my hat if you need to, Sanji, but it's not really my treasure." Luffy frowned as he took his straw hat from his head, glancing down at it in thought.

"That's not what I'm talking about." Sanji mumbled around his cigarette, closing his eyes as he leaned back against the railing, his elbows resting on the handrails. Ignoring Luffy's perplexed look, he removed his dwindling cigarette from his mouth.

_And you know what I'm talking about_.

"Now that we understand each other, you're going to talk to Nami-san."

At this, Luffy's eyes hardened and he nodded, replacing his straw hat onto his head.

"Of course!"

With that, Luffy disappeared out of sight. Sanji blew out the last of the smoke from his lungs, flicking the stub out into the sea, watching as it floated on the water's surface for a second before being swallowed by the waves. Hands in his pockets, he began to head back to the galley.

_Shitty captain._

* * *

Nami looked up from her place on the swing as she heard Luffy make his way across the grassy deck, then up the steps to the women's quarters. It was clear that he was looking for her, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to face him again. She heard the distant call of her name, but she couldn't bring herself to call out to him.

Her vision was slightly narrowed due to the puffiness around her eyes from her earlier crying. She still found it hard to believe that she had broken down so easily in front of Sanji.

_How much easier would it be if I loved Sanji-kun, instead_? Nami asked herself, then shook her head. _Or if I didn't love _anyone _for that matter. _

Love was a strong word to use, but she knew that _like_ wouldn't actually cut it to get her feelings across. Perhaps she was just scared of the word?

Much sooner than she would have liked, Luffy had spotted her and was slowly, but surely making his way over to her. Nami rocked herself back and forth gently with her hands wrapped around the ropes, stilling her movements when Luffy stopped a few feet in front of her.

"Nami."

Nami fixed him with a blank stare and Luffy visibly swallowed.

"I'm sorry."

"I know." Nami said quietly, once again resuming her rocking. "I heard you the first time."

Taken slightly aback, he frowned at her.

"I really screwed up."

"Yes, you did." Nami agreed whole heartedly, causing his frown to deepen.

"And I know I hurt you and I want you to know I didn't mean to."

_I know_, she said to herself silently, but aloud she said, "All right."

There was a moment of silence as Luffy fidgeted in place.

"Do you forgive me?"

There was a pause. "Yes."

"Really?!" Luffy was grinning now.

"Yes." Nami said shortly, causing his grin to falter.

"You still sound angry."

"I am." Nami said matter of factly. Luffy's expression immediately fell at her reply.

"But I said I was-"

"Sorry doesn't make everything better, Luffy." Nami closed her eyes, still rocking herself back and forth gently on the swing. "If it did, we wouldn't need the marines now, would we?"

"Then," Nami eyes snapped open when she was brought to abrupt halt. Luffy was hovering over her, both hands clutching at the ropes to still her movements, his eyes wide and pleading. "What do you want me to do?"

Nami blushed at his close proximity, closing her eyes and counting backwards from ten in her head as she tried to collect her thoughts.

"Nami!"

Sighing, she opened her eyes again, his gaze locking with hers.

"Don't worry about it. I know you didn't mean to do what you did." Nami told him gently, reaching up to pull his hands from the ropes to resume her gentle rocking. "I should have expected this from you, it's my own fault for thinking that...Never mind."

"Thinking what?" He prodded, grabbing onto the ropes and stilling her movements once again.

"It's nothing." Nami told him.

Luffy's frown continued to stay in place, but when he opened his mouth to argue, a low growling noise escaped him.

"Luffy." Nami arched a brow as she was at eye level with his stomach. "Did you eat yet?"

"No, not yet." He grinned at her sheepishly. He looked down to gauge her reaction, sweat beginning to break out on his brow. It probably wasn't the best time for his body to make its needs heard, but there were just some aspects of his body that he had no control over, mainly his stomach.

Nami gave him a flat look when his stomach continued to growl and Luffy stiffened under her gaze. Then, with a sigh she closed her eyes and with one hand waved him off.

"I guess it can't be helped." Nami said. "Go on, before your stomach decides to eat itself."

"R-really?" He asked hesitantly, although his body was already turning and he had already thrown out his hand to grab the railing in front of the galley.

"Yes--oh, but first," Nami looked up at him and motioned him over with her index finger. Luffy frowned, pulling his hand back as his stomach continued to growl in protest and leaned closer to Nami. As soon as he came within her reach, Nami reached up and plucked the straw hat from his head. "I'll be taking this."

"_Oi, oi, oi_!" Luffy's hands immediately went to the top of his head, ruffling his already unkempt hair as he stared at Nami in horror. "You're not going to--"

"Oh, stop making such a fuss." Nami said as she pushed his face away with one hand and placed the straw hat on her head with the other. "I'm just going to wear it for the rest of the night. Fair's fair."

"But--" Luffy pouted as he continued to hold his hands to his head, his eyes locked onto his treasure now snuggly atop Nami's head.

"You can survive for one night and this is your punishment." Nami rocked back on her heels on the swing. She smiled at him. "Don't worry, it's in good hands."

Luffy pursed his lips for a moment, his hands dropping to his sides. "I guess that's true."

"Yeah, you're right!" Luffy said more conviction, his grin returning. He placed his hand on the straw hat, rubbing it on more snuggly with a laugh. "Then I'll leave it to you."

"This is supposed to be a punishment." Nami mumbled to herself, pushing the hat from over her eyes.

"Let's go eat!" Luffy said excitedly as he reared his arm back, his foot rising up in preparation to send himself over the railing and into the galley in one swift motion. He noticed, however, that Nami had yet to rise from the seat of the swing. "You're not going to eat?"

"Not yet." Nami adjusted the straw hat, smiling at him from under the rim. "I think I'll stay out here a bit longer."

"Oh." Luffy continued to hold his pose for a moment before dropping his leg and arm with a grin. "Then let's swing together and then we can eat!"

"Together--what?" Nami had barely enough to blink as Luffy swung himself to her back. He grabbed hold of each rope and began stepping backwards. "Wait, Luffy, what are you--"

"Ready?" Luffy grinned.

"W-wait, Luffy," Nami looked at him over her shoulder, her face starting to lose color. "Don't--"

Luffy's grin widened as he tightened his grip on the ropes and jumped onto the swing so that his foot rested on either side of her hips. Nami yelped as the branch the swing was attached to shuddered, threatening to break at the sudden weight.

"Luffy! You're going to break it!"

Luffy's laughter was the only response she got as she held onto the ropes for dear life, her head tilted back so she could reprimand the young man above her. Despite her shouts, her heart continued to pound pleasantly in her chest, her eyes alight as her own laughter began to bubble forth.

She understood that Luffy didn't quite understand things like marriage and his heart was set on his goals and his dreams. Although there would be times like these where his ignorance would hurt her, she knew that it was these qualities that attracted her to him. Luffy was still a little boy at heart and he had much to learn. It would probably be years before he would mature, but she could wait.

She didn't need to be married to him to stay by his side forever.

* * *

Her name was Rei and she found herself passing by the same bridal gown shop for the passed three weeks down that same street. It was one that was well out of her way when she walked home and for at least half an hour every day, she would stare at the gowns with longing. Her wedding date was soon approaching, but with her pockets considerably light and her job paying her only one third of what she believed her hard work actually deserved, it seemed that she would have to sacrifice having the dress of her dreams.

"I would only wear it one day, anyway." Rei told herself in an effort to talk herself out of her oncoming depression. She sighed, watching with great envy as another bride-to-be was fitted right in the window, as if to mock her.

"Bitch." She mumbled to herself, stepping back as she forced herself to turn away. "No, no, don't think about it! You're marrying the man you love and that's all that should matter."

"But a beautiful dress helps."

"Yes, it does." Rei agreed solemnly, then blinked. She turned to see an orange haired woman grinning at her, a large package in her arms. She seemed oddly familiar, but perhaps that was her imagination.

"Are you getting married, too?" Rei asked, smiling a little.

"No, no." The woman shook her head, glancing at the package in her hand, then at Rei with a grin. "But it sounds like you are."

"Yes, in a month." Rei said wistfully as she stared back at the bridal gown store against her own will. "I'm really happy."

"Congratulations." The woman smiled. "You sure do sound like a happy bride-to-be."

"Thank you." Rei turned back to her, smiling. "But, really, I am happy. It doesn't matter if I have to marry him in a beautiful dress or rags. As long as it's _him_, that's all that matters. Love over money."

"Love over money..." The woman repeated, tilting her head to the side, before breaking into another grin. "Any other day and I might have called you crazy."

"Then I should consider myself lucky." Rei grinned back.

"Actually, you might." The orange-haired woman agreed. "Will you do me a favor?"

"A favor?" Rei blinked.

"Tell me what you think of this dress." Rei only had time to blink before gasping as a magnificent dress was presented to her.

_"It's beautiful_." She couldn't stop herself and briefly wondered if this woman merely wanted to rub her nose in the fact that she had such a magnificent dress while she had nothing. That would have been much too cruel.

"That's good because it's yours now." She gaped at her. Much too cruel if this was all a big joke.

"I couldn't possibly-"

"We're about the same build, I think." The woman told her, smiling. "So a little alteration here and there and you should be set."

"But, I-I don't have the money-"

"Why else would I be _giving _this to you?" She said slowly, as if talking to a child. "Just take it."

"But, why?" Rei asked as she slowly took the dress, holding it to her tightly as if she were afraid that the other woman would change her mind and snatch the precious gift from her. "Are--were you getting married?"

"No, I'm not going to get married." She said so certainly that a look of sympathy flashed across Rei's eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't misunderstand me." The other woman smiled, handing over the bag that she had kept the dress in as well. "It's not that I don't want to or haven't found anyone. It's just that, well, I'm a pirate and marriage isn't exactly made for pirates."

Rei could only stare after the young woman as she darted off, waving to her one last time with a final word of congratulations before she disappeared around the corner and quite possibly out of Rei's life forever.

"I didn't even have a chance to thank her." Rei said quietly as she held the dress tightly to her chest, smiling down at it, still in disbelief.

That is until the orange-haired woman's words sunk in and she slowly pulled the dress away from her.

"Pirate?" Rei stared at the dress at horror and held it in front of her in a dramatic pose. "Does this mean she stole this dress? Off a corpse, maybe? Could there possibly be another bride out there who was robbed of her wedding day because a pirate stole her dress?"

There was a beat of silence.

"Ah, as long as there isn't any blood stains, I can deal with it." Rei shrugged and hugged the beautiful dress to her chest, already daydreaming about her wedding day that had just become a little more glamorous.

* * *

"You're back already?" Robin asked as Nami entered the room, a smile on the younger woman's face. "What happened to the wedding dress?"

"I gave it to charity." Nami said with a shrug before she grabbed what she needed from the room and left, humming a cheerful tune.

"Charity?" Robin asked, staring after her curiously.

"Oh, Nami, you're back!" Luffy said, hopping down from the upper deck to land besides his navigator.

"Actually, I just needed to pick something up. I'm going back into town." Nami said as she offered him a smile. "Want to join me?"

"Hm," Luffy stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest as he made a show of considering her offer, his right hand rubbing his chin in thought.

Nami rolled her eyes, but her smile was still present as she said, "I'll buy you lunch."

At this, Luffy let out a jubilant shout and grabbed her wrist. "Let's go!"

"You don't need to pull—oh, Sanji already fed you, didn't he?"

"Yeah, but I can still eat." Luffy said as he patted his stomach for emphasis.

"All right." Nami nodded as she grabbed his hat and placed it on her head. "Let's go!"

"Ah!" Luffy's hand jumped up to his own head, now being lead by Nami as she grabbed onto his wrist. "You said only for the night!"

"I'm treating you to lunch, aren't I? I think this is fair." Nami said as she tugged him along. He perked up as he remembered the promise of food.

"No seconds."

"_Eh?_"

* * *

**AN**: :3?

I tolerate you, Con.


End file.
